We, Robot: Musk’s Scatterbrained Robotaxi Preview Teases Autonomy but Leaves us Confused

Tesla finally pulled the wraps off their much-hyped Robotaxi (or is it Cybercab?) at We, Robot, a predictably chaotic, surprisingly confusing rave-style launch party. Six months after he first teased the Robotaxi launch event, Tesla delivered something that was both utterly expected and completely bewildering. Let’s break it down—from the design of the star of the show to the scattered product strategy and the disappointing lack of concrete information.

Design Issues: Minimalism with a Touch of Crazy

Tesla’s known for pushing design boundaries, but this time, it felt like they hit a creative wall. Each of their existing Models (S, X, 3, Y) share some fundamental design DNA and over the 12 yeaers since Model S was launched, have successfully evolved the Tesla design language to maintain a fresh, if now highly familiar style. The Cybertruck is a unique creation but still managed to maintain a distinctive Tesla character through its intensly minimalist aesthetic. Which leads us to the Robotaxi. It is clean and minimalist. It bears strong visual ties to both Model 3 and Cybertruck designs, while pushing the minimalist ethos even further. Nothing wrong with that. But overall, the reductivism has led Tesla to a more bland and even boring design. I think there are a number of beautifullly executed details, such as the reduction of panel seams and geometrically perfect wheel cutouts. But the end result feels a bit stale.  Instead of propelling Tesla’s “futuristic” DNA further along, the Robotaxi’s visual presence comes off as too basic and derivative.

• What Happened to Innovation? The design has it merits, and it presents an interesting blend of Model 3 and Cybertruck elements. But the end result is sterile and a bit generic. The design fails to take any risks and thus doesn’t evoke the sense of advancement, futurism, or even the sex appeal Tesla was known for with the Model S, Roadster 2.0 and Model 3. It lacks that futuristic punch we’ve come to expect from Tesla. In the end, it feels more mundane than inspired.
• No Autonomy Indicator: Where’s the signal to the world that this thing is driving itself? Other brands, like Mercedes, are adding obvious signals like turquoise lights to indicate when the car is in autonomous mode. Maybe this is a niche concern but like other aspects of autonomy that Musk seems ready to overlook, this new category of vehicle seems to warrant some distinction. But from all signs, Tesla has no interest in addressing the natural concerns that many have about adding self-driving vehicles to the roads.
• Butterfly Doors, Seriously? Sure, they look cool, but in practice, they’re a less practical than regular hinged doors in tight parking spaces or emergencies. And unlike sliding doors, they don’t enhance access. Plus, they add unnecessary complexity.
• Brake Lights Gone Wrong: Why are the brake lights way down at bumper height, just like the Chevy Bolt? This design choice has already caused safety concerns, yet here we are again. And there doesn’t appear to be a CHMSL either.
• Gold Tires? The Robotaxi sports tires painted gold to match the wheels. Because…reasons?

And of course, there’s still no platform strategy to be found. Every new Tesla model seems like a one-off project, with none of the flexibilty, efficiency, or cost reduction benefits of a scalable platform. Roadster, S, X, 3, Y, Semi, Cybertruck, Robotaxi, Robovan –  they’re all bespoke platforms with relatively few shared components. It’s like a Tesla bingo card, except we all lose.

Design Kudos: Efficiency for the Win

Okay, let’s give credit where it’s due—there are some smart choices here. Tesla still knows how to squeeze every drop of efficiency out of their designs.

• Ultra-Efficient Form: The low, narrow, and slippery shape is all about squeezing out maximum aero efficiency. The minimalist Robotaxi package takes the shape of a hyper-efficient 2-seater hatchback.
• 5.5 Miles Per kWh: If true, this would be industry-leading. It allows a virtuous cycle of efficiency: they can minimize battery size, weight, and material costs. That’s a big deal for lower cost and resource consumption.
• Minimalist Design: Tesla’s minimalist design doesn’t just look clean; it keeps production costs down. Fewer parts, fewer headaches. I noticed the reductionist ethos in everything from the headlight and taillight design to the seats, dash, and even the panel design. The exterior panels are flat, with clean and simple seams and gaps meant to simplify production and improve perceived quality. The lack of a glass roof or rear glass hatch are weight- and cost-saving design choices. The Robotaxi also lacks side mirrors, door handles, a charging flap, and door handles! Now that is minimalism.
• Cargo Capacity: Somehow, they’ve packed generous cabin space and a massive cargo area into a tiny footprint. Impressive.

Event Review: Late, Jittery, and Utterly Unprepared

After being delayed two months, the event finally kicked off an hour late—and it didn’t get better from there. Elon Musk, jittery and seemingly unprepared, fumbled through the presentation like a guy who forgot to practice in front of the mirror.

• Where’s the Strategy? The biggest miss? There was no roadmap. No production timelines, no details on the tech behind the autonomy, no explanation of why this car would be cheaper to build, or why it’s even necessary. Just a lot of vague promises and sci-fi-level daydreaming about cities without traffic or parking lots. Cool in theory, but that’s not what this event was supposed to be about.
• A Van? Really? In the middle of the event, Musk unveiled something that looked like a cross between a van and a spaceship—a “Robovan.” Why? Who knows. Apparently, Tesla decided to throw a new product into the mix with no rhyme or reason.
• A Parade of Robots? If you weren’t already confused, Musk then introduced Optimus, Tesla’s humanoid robot. Sure, it’s cool to watch them move around, but it quickly became apparent that they were remotely controlled. No mention of the actual tech powering these robots or their future—just another vague promise that they’ll be the “biggest product ever made” and only cost $20,000. Eventually.

Cybercab Demo: A Controlled Environment and the Same Old Promises

The demo of the Cybercab was supposed to be the highlight, but it was really just a carefully staged, closed-course ride. Yes, the autonomous driving worked smoothly, but under what circumstances?

• Closed Course Only: The ride took place in a controlled environment on pre-mapped roads with limited obstacles. Hardly a real-world test of Tesla’s autonomous capabilities.
• No FSD Progress: Tesla’s Full Self-Driving tech is already impressive but deeply flawed in the real world. This demo didn’t show anything groundbreaking. Musk continues to promise FSD “by the end of next year,” but we’ve heard that line before—many times, in fact.
• Customized UI: The navigation interface during the demo was clearly customized for the event, meaning we didn’t even get a look at the actual software for the Cybercab.

The kicker? Musk said that unsupervised self-driving would be available in existing Teslas by 2025. If that’s true, why are they even building a bespoke Robotaxi?

Context is Everything: Musk’s Distracted Leadership

It’s impossible to ignore the larger context surrounding this event. Musk is more focused on divisive political antics and culture wars than running Tesla. Just days before the event, Musk was at a Trump rally, bouncing around on stage like a wannabe rock star. His increasingly erratic public behavior is undermining Tesla’s brand and alienating a growing number of potential customers.

• Musk’s Trump Love Affair: Musk has poured over $100 million into Trump’s campaign and is backing a PAC dedicated to getting him elected. Oh, and a few days before the event, Musk was on Tucker Carlson’s webcast, laughing about the lack of assassination attempts on Kamala Harris. Yep, that happened.
• Tesla’s Stock Rollercoaster: Tesla’s stock soared in the months leading up to this event, but immediately after? It dropped from $240 to $215. Investors are clearly not impressed.

What Was the Point?

So, what was the actual point of this event? It wasn’t a proper product launch. It was a poorly timed sneak preview of a car that’s nowhere near ready, held together by hype, robots, and rave-style lighting. There were no concrete dates, no pricing, and no strategy. The media hype disguised the fact that there was almost no actual information shared.

Was this event just a way to pacify Tesla fans and investors? Tesla sales are down, and Musk’s promise of eternal 50% growth is looking more like a pipe dream. The Cybertruck has launched, but media coverage hasn’t been kind. It feels like Tesla is in scramble mode, trying to keep the fan base happy while Musk tweets out divisive, hateful garbage on the regular. The question remains: why hold this event now if there was nothing concrete to share?

Conclusion: A Missed Opportunity, Wrapped in Hype

At the end of the day, this event was a scatterbrained mess that lacked any serious substance. Musk’s chaotic leadership, political distractions, and inability to focus on Tesla’s real challenges overshadowed any modest good news the Robotaxi or Optimus robots might have offered.

For now, Tesla fans and investors are left waiting—again—for real progress, while Musk continues to promise the moon with no real plan to deliver.